Why I Died

This is why I died when you did.

My emotions are hyper
intense, and beyond normalcy
My heart fragile, my pain unbearable
This world and this life is too scary for me.

You were my safety
You gave me strength
You kept my fear at bay.
Through the darkest night
Your songs ushered me to sleep

Death raped me of this safety
So I buried myself,
My fear, my heart, my emotions.
As deep as they would go.
To keep my heart from feeling too much.
And now here I explode.

They wouldn't stay latent forever
They manifested themselves again
My hyper emotions, fragile heart and fear
Consume me once again.
But now you are gone and I'm all alone
No one is here to ground my fear and pain

Will there ever be?
someone who is able and willing to handle my intensity?
Am I destined to be alone
Devoured by my brains hyper activity.

A Glimpse of My Fear

Silent static screams into my emptiness,
Alone and abandoned lying here.
My ears search for someone near
But there's no sound, only fear.
As a pit in my stomach grows and panic appears
Alone, in the abyss of abandonment jeers.
I float in the dark emptiness of eternity
Isolated from all and loathing my mere existence
Wishing I could be undone and
Erased from the fabric of reality.
Hating the knowledge of love and
Fearing that it hates me
But desperate for it to embrace me
To ground me and keep me from being swallowed
by the immensity of infinity.
Forsaken, depress, rejected, and unloved
Unwanted, outcasted, and accompanied by no one
So alone self existence falls into question
But fear and panic proves that existence is my problem.
No way out, no where to go,
I have absolutely zero control.
Panic engulfs me as I embrace the reality of my reality
I may never find love and it may never find me.
My fear is I exist alone in the abyss of eternity.